BROKEN IDENTITY

November 4, 2020

STACIE NORMAN

Stacie is a counselor at Cord of 3.  She works with the Child & Adolescent Population and she provides the clinical supervision and training here at Cord of 3. She is a doctoral candidate in Counselor Education and Supervision.  


What is wrong with me? Why does my life feel like it’s falling apart?  Why don’t things ever work out for me?  Why am I so depressed?  Why am I so angry?  Why do I have so much anxiety?  Will I ever have peace?  Will life ever just be normal?

Do any of these questions sound familiar?  Last month, we focused on the fact that we are created in God’s image, and His creation is good (Genesis 1).  We also learned that we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works (Ephesians 2:10).  So, if we are created good, with the purpose to do good, then why are things so bad sometimes?

The answer can be summed up in one word: sin. Genesis 3 tells the story. Satan entered the garden, deceived Eve, and she and Adam ate the fruit of the forbidden tree.  As a result, they suddenly knew they were naked, and they tried to fix their sin by sewing fig leaves together for clothes.  When God came to commune with them in the cool of the day, they were afraid, and they hid from him. They immediately started feeling the effects of sin — fear and shame.  

We still feel the effects of sin today.  Romans 3:23 (KJV) states, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”  Isaiah 59:2 (KJV) says, “But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear.”  

Sin entered the world and brought a vast array of harmful effects:

guilt, shame, rejection, brokenness, hatred, anger, bitterness, strife, envy, fear, jealousy, rage, depression, anxiety, and ultimately death.

Sin entered the world and brought a vast array of harmful effects: guilt, shame, rejection, brokenness, hatred, anger, bitterness, strife, envy, fear, jealousy, rage, depression, anxiety, and ultimately death. When we find ourselves in sin, we often react just like Adam and Eve. We first try to fix ourselves. We read self-help books, and they don’t help.  We try new coping tools, but we still have symptoms of anxiety and depression. We reach out to others for advice and comfort, and then we feel overwhelmed and more confused than ever due to the vast amount of contradictory advice they give.  

First, we try to fix ourselves and when that doesn’t work, we hide. Like Adam and Eve with the fig leaves, we cover our sin as best we can. Because we are ashamed, we want to hide it.  We try to ignore it. We lie about it. We blame others for it.  We make excuses about it.  We rationalize it.  We pull away from those who care about us, including God, and we fall deeper into guilt and shame.  We then begin to feel that we aren’t good enough, that we will never measure up, that God could never love or forgive us, and that He certainly doesn’t have any good plans for us, because we blew it.  It leads us away from God — it separates us from Him.

While our sin separates us from God, it doesn’t stop God from loving us.  God knew we couldn’t fix ourselves. So what did He do?  Here’s a hint:  Isaiah 7:14b, “ Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.”  God developed a plan to save us from the negative effects and spiritual death caused by sin, and because of that plan, our broken identity can be restored.  Tune in next month to see how a baby changes everything!

Training and Discipleship

The Cord of 3 training and discipleship program serves the community by offering educational seminars on various mental health and related topics (parenting subjects, coping with loss, warning signs of addiction) as well as conferences, retreats, and seminars for area churches on matters that pertain to God’s design for the family.

Counselor Education & Supervision

Cord of 3’s Counselor education and supervision program is deigned to support interns who are completing their master’s degree, counselors who are working toward licensure, and professionals who are working to integrate their Chritian faith into their clinical practice.

Equine Therapy

Cord of 3’s equine therapy program is designed for individuals ages 7 and up as well as women ages 13+ and families. Equine therapy can help individuals and families overcome challenges, cuiltivate healthy relational skills, build trust, improve interpersonal and behavioral functioning, and create positive self-concept and identity in Christ.

Play God’s Way

A Christ-centered play therapy model to meet teh spiritual, emotional, and mental health needs of children. Through play therapy, children learn to accept responsibility for behavior, engage in healthy coping strategies, acquire problem-solving skills, develop empathy for others, and gain an understanding of identity in mChrist.

ADDICTION RECOVERY

Addictions always originate in pain… The question is never ‘why the addiction?,’ but rather ‘why the pain?’” (Dr. Gabor Maté). Counselors can help those struggling with addictions address underlying painful issues and then break the addictive patterns.

Child & Adolescent

Behavioral issues at home or in school often have an underlying cause, such as trauma, depression, anxiety, or other mental health conditions. The experienced staff at Cord of 3 meets each child with love, builds trust, and applies effective treatment that approaches the root cause of the behavior.

Marriage & Family

As in couple’s counseling, family counseling focuses on the relationship and dynamics within the family unit and between the individual members of it. Counselors will help clients identify unhealthy or unhelpful patterns, and to address them by developing healthier communication and conflict resolutions skills, create realistic expectations, and restructure familial roles to benefit everyone. The ultimate goal is to help the family be better able to thrive as a team.

STRESS & TRAUMA

Every person will at some point have at least one potentially traumatic experience, but this doesn’t impact everyone in the same ways. When struggling to process and move on from negative life experiences, therapy offers a powerful method of finding support and healing.

EMOTIONAL WHOLENESS

Individual counseling can help overcome the sometimes overwhelming fear and hopelessness by helping you better understand the conditions that led to the emotional brokenness you are experiencing, and applying healthy coping skills against them.