Raising the Bar: Emotionally

March 17, 2026
By: Rebecca Bourquine

Becoming a mature believer, emotionally, requires strength, perseverance, endurance, and diligence. Just like with athletes, we need spiritual exercise. Instead of learning to walk, however, we are learning to run. Pushing ourselves further and harder to gain greater self control and emotional regulation. Scripture provides multiple examples to guide us, but let’s look at a common everyday situation first.

Imagine that you are a single parent with 2 adolescent boys. So far, financially, you have been “getting by”. However, you received a call today from your son’s coach that he was injured at practice and it is believed he broke his leg. After the fear and urgency has calmed, you run to the local drug store to pick up his medications and other things you might need. While parked you take a moment to pray for God’s financial provision and as you grab your phone you barely notice a social media notification about someone locally who has lost their wallet. A day or two goes by and you are back in town running errands. You stumble upon the lost wallet. You open it to find identification and notice it holds a lot of cash. You know stealing is wrong, but you also now have multiple new medical bills to pay off and you are feeling somewhat desperate for financial help. What do you do?

Often in life, what we want to do does not align with what scripture says. We see Paul struggling with this in Romans chapter 7.

14 For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. 15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. 16 If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. 17 Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. 18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. 19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. 20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. 21 I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.

Self control and emotional regulation can be difficult to obtain. It doesn’t happen naturally or overnight. While we know right from wrong, sometimes choosing to do what is right may not look appealing on the surface. Unfortunately, oftentimes we choose the easy and attractive option instead of what scripture instructs. 

The Israelites found themselves in a similar situation. When Babylon invaded, some trusted Egypt, not God,  for their rescue. When Egypt didn’t provide that safe haven, it became clear that they made an unwise choice. In this passage of Jeremiah, we see God warning against trusting in an alliance with Egypt, but describing the man who trusts in God as blessed. He tells us, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it.” (Jeremiah 17:9) Desperately wicked goes beyond “a bad idea”. When we are desperate, it can be hard to say no. In Proverbs we see the link between our heart and our emotions. “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” (Proverbs 4:23) The take away here is our heart, which is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, impacts the issues of life. That includes our emotions. Raising the bar emotionally means we need to find a way to be strong enough to say “no” when responding to our emotions. We need to recognize and acknowledge them, but take our instruction from God and His Word. What happened to the Israelites?  They were taken into captivity and relocated to Babylon.

So then, how do we build this strength so we do not become carried away into captivity? The answer is clear, but not always easy. We are instructed in Hebrews 13:9 “Be not carried about with divers and strange doctrines. For it is a good thing that the heart be established with grace; not with meats, which have not profited them that have been occupied therein.” Paul also warns of listening to false doctrine in 2 Corinthians 11: 13-15.

13 For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ. 14 And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. 15 Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.

In order to become spiritually mature emotionally, first we need to know the truth of God. We do that by spending time in His Word and time in prayer. If we do not know the word of God, we will be easily led astray by divers and strange doctrines. 

This instruction, or encouragement, from Hebrews also comes in relation to a battle. This time, it’s the King of Judah (Asa) and the Ethiopians. Asa is giving a pep talk to the army and also praying. Asa is reminding the people to be grounded in truth and not swayed. Again, holding fast to doctrine and the Word of God. This time spent in God’s Word will renew our minds and make us more Christ-like. When we raise the bar, emotionally speaking, we give our emotions the space to inform us, but not the authority to direct us. That authority is God’s and God’s alone. So what is the result? 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such, there is no law.”  Galatians 5: 22-23

As we spend time reading God’s Word, praying and seeking after Him, we become more like Him. His Holy Spirit will bear fruit through us and we will be blessed to see His work in more ways than can be imagined. We begin to have a front row seat to how He works in the lives of those around us because we made ourselves available. As a side benefit, we are allowed to participate in the blessing, both in giving and receiving. 

Fruit of the Spirit Assessment

https://www.renewalcs.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/fruit_of_the_spirit_assessment.pdf

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