April 12, 2022

The Highs and lows of Married life

​Throughout this year, Cord of 3 is focusing the theme of our articles on a “Battle Plan for the Family.”  So far, we have looked at the concepts of Spiritual Warfare and Personal Attacks.  Over the next three months, we will be focusing on the Attacks that are occurring directly against the family.  For April of 2022 in particular, we are going to zero in on the marriage unit with a look at how being content versus being discontent is a battle for every couple.

God’s design for the marriage is a beautiful design.  In Genesis 2, God gave us a reason to consider marriage when he spoke the words, “it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18).  Here, He is not making a statement about something that he did wrong when he created Adam alone in the garden.  He is giving us a reason to pause and consider what His created purposes might be reflecting.  The marriage unit reflects the beauty, communion, and relationship that exists within the God-head.  And as a result, God established the institution of the marriage, a one-flesh union between the man and his wife and they were both “naked and unashamed” (Genesis 2:25).  Now, as a one flesh couple, it is good.  It is good for a man to find a wife.  It is good for a marriage to be strong emotionally and spiritually.  It is good for a man and a woman to be open, transparent, and vulnerable with each other as they walk through the ups and downs in this life together.  It is good for the man and his wife to bear children, raise them up to be followers of Jesus and it is through the one flesh marriage, that children first learn about God. 

And Adam said, This [is] now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

There are many days over the course of a marriage, seasons and occasions when Satan will attack the marriage unit attempting to divide the man and his wife from each other and ultimately from God.  We must always remember that Satan’s goal is to destroy and that he will use whatever means he can to destroy not just the marriage, but the whole family.  He attempts to devour the marriage through financial troubles, communication difficulties, parenting disagreements, or even through personality conflicts.  But there is one attack that is utterly brutal and yet most often, the couple doesn’t even know he is attacking.  This attack is called discontentment, a lack of satisfaction with one’s life as it is, a sense of grievance or annoyance. 
There are reasons why a couple might come to a point of discontentment with the marriage or with each other.  It is easy, when you are doing daily life together, to begin to take each other for granted, to feel like things have slipped into a rut, or the busyness of life makes it hard to recharge the emotional batteries of the marriage.  It is common for a couple to find themselves at the proverbial “7 year itch” and find themselves there about every 7 years.  This discontentment is dangerous to the couple because it makes the grass look greener on the other side of the fence.  Thoughts can get turned to “what ifs” or possibilities of things being different if the person were different.  As these thoughts and feelings begin to etch their way into the marriage, Satan has surely been doing his work. 


We must first find the root.  What is at the root of your discontentment?  This can be a tricky question to answer.  Sometimes it’s straightforward:  You’ve grown apart and have become more roommates than husband and wife.  But often there’s a deeper issue.  Use the following questions as a starting place for some self-reflection:

  • Do you need to deal with some personal baggage from your past?
  • Do you need to reconnect with your spouse on an emotional level?
  • Do you avoid having deeper conversations and times of intimacy with your spouse?
  • Do some of your spouse’s habits drive you a little crazy?

Sometimes there are issues within the relationship such as a lack of trust, poor communication, no spiritual connection, or not enough quality time together.  The list of potential problems is endless.  Even little things can build up and create real discontentment in the marriage.  The goal is to seek God, ask Him to help you see yourself first (Matthew 7:3-5) so that you can begin to change any of your own patterns that are contributing to the discontentment. 

After identifying what some of those underlying issues might be that is making your relationship a challenge, talk about these issues with your spouse or get a Spiritual brother or sister in Christ to give you some guidance to help you begin to affect change in your marriage.

the real source of the cure

​​Next, we must reconnect with the real source of the cure for discontentment.  Christ is the only One who can bring us true fulfillment.  When we look to Jesus to be our main source of life, He becomes the highest priority in our lives.  Everything starts with Jesus.  We must take those root causes for our discontentment to Jesus and seek him for the answers.  Sometimes we will try to replace Him with our spouse.  But our spouse will always fall short.  A surefire way to create discontentment in your marriage is to expect your spouse to do what only God can do.  When we ask our spouse to be the source of our contentment with life, it places an unfair burden on them and sparks an unhealthy dependency in us.  The best thing you can do for your self and for your marriage is to develop your personal connection to God through an active faith.  Allow God to be the source of your happiness. 

Training and Discipleship

The Cord of 3 training and discipleship program serves the community by offering educational seminars on various mental health and related topics (parenting subjects, coping with loss, warning signs of addiction) as well as conferences, retreats, and seminars for area churches on matters that pertain to God’s design for the family.

Counselor Education & Supervision

Cord of 3’s Counselor education and supervision program is deigned to support interns who are completing their master’s degree, counselors who are working toward licensure, and professionals who are working to integrate their Chritian faith into their clinical practice.

Equine Therapy

Cord of 3’s equine therapy program is designed for individuals ages 7 and up as well as women ages 13+ and families. Equine therapy can help individuals and families overcome challenges, cuiltivate healthy relational skills, build trust, improve interpersonal and behavioral functioning, and create positive self-concept and identity in Christ.

Play God’s Way

A Christ-centered play therapy model to meet teh spiritual, emotional, and mental health needs of children. Through play therapy, children learn to accept responsibility for behavior, engage in healthy coping strategies, acquire problem-solving skills, develop empathy for others, and gain an understanding of identity in mChrist.


Addictions always originate in pain… The question is never ‘why the addiction?,’ but rather ‘why the pain?’” (Dr. Gabor Maté). Counselors can help those struggling with addictions address underlying painful issues and then break the addictive patterns.

Child & Adolescent

Behavioral issues at home or in school often have an underlying cause, such as trauma, depression, anxiety, or other mental health conditions. The experienced staff at Cord of 3 meets each child with love, builds trust, and applies effective treatment that approaches the root cause of the behavior.

Marriage & Family

As in couple’s counseling, family counseling focuses on the relationship and dynamics within the family unit and between the individual members of it. Counselors will help clients identify unhealthy or unhelpful patterns, and to address them by developing healthier communication and conflict resolutions skills, create realistic expectations, and restructure familial roles to benefit everyone. The ultimate goal is to help the family be better able to thrive as a team.


Every person will at some point have at least one potentially traumatic experience, but this doesn’t impact everyone in the same ways. When struggling to process and move on from negative life experiences, therapy offers a powerful method of finding support and healing.


Individual counseling can help overcome the sometimes overwhelming fear and hopelessness by helping you better understand the conditions that led to the emotional brokenness you are experiencing, and applying healthy coping skills against them.